Incomparable
by Brave New Writer
Summary: I didn't get any reviews last update! No reviews equals a sad author!
1. That Nurse

I met a girl in Tokyo the other night.  
  
An incredibly gorgeous nurse.  
  
Soft, brown hair.  
  
Eyes as blue as the Pacific Ocean on a sunny day.  
  
A perfectly turned-up nose.  
  
Rose-red lips.  
  
No.  
  
Gotta stop thinking about her. Gotta stop.  
  
What made me do this?  
  
Oh, I know. It had to be those four bourbons I had.  
  
Completely drunk.  
  
Snap out of it, Hunnicutt.  
  
Don't think about who's waiting for me in Tokyo.  
  
Think about who's waiting for me in Mill Valley.  
  
Peggy.  
  
Erin.  
  
Come on, Mr. Faithful has to stay faithful.  
  
Fidelity's practically my middle name.  
  
Peggy's the girl for me.  
  
Isn't she?  
  
Can't get that nurse off my mind.  
  
What was her name?  
  
I never learned her name.  
  
She was drunk, too.  
  
Drunk with desire.  
  
Peg never was one for drinking.  
  
I knew I was in love the minute I saw her.  
  
The girl, not Peggy.  
  
I keep comparing her to my wife.  
  
Peg always kept a watchful eye on me.  
  
This woman let me do anything I wanted.  
  
As long as it was with her.  
  
Peg always had her limits.  
  
This woman didn't seem to know the word "limit".  
  
Did I?  
  
Did I, in my stupid drunkenness, forget to set a limit?  
  
Oh, God.  
  
I did.  
  
I feel so dirty now.  
  
Peg's gonna kill me.  
  
Wait.  
  
I'll just tell her, in the sappiest way I can, that no woman, no matter how beautiful . . .  
  
. . . no matter how arousing . . .  
  
. . . no matter what . . .  
  
. . . can compare.  
  
No woman can compare to my sweetheart.  
  
Peg is incomparable.  
  
That's the honest-to-God truth. 


	2. Dear Peggy

Dear Peggy,  
  
It's me, your loving husband. I know I usually say faithful husband, but I'm afraid I can't write that anymore.  
You see, a couple nights ago me and my buddy Hawkeye were in Tokyo on R&R. We stopped at a popular bar to have a few shots. I landed a stool right next to a woman from the 8063rd who was also on R&R. She was already pretty drunk, but I obligingly bought more bourbon for her.  
Well, one thing led to another, and before I knew it, we were drunkenly making love to each other in the back room. I'm telling you this because you deserve to know, and I would do anything, ANYTHING, to regain your trust in me. This woman meant absolutely nothing to me.  
I didn't really remember what happened until Hawkeye clued me in. He told me about it in the jeep. We were heading back, and I had completely forgotten that nurse, even her name. God forbid I ever remember it.  
I went to Father Mulcahy about it, and he said the best thing for me to do would be to tell you the truth.  
This letter is an apology, coming from the bottom of my heart.  
Peggy, you're the girl for me. Always have been, always will. You're incomparable.  
  
Love,  
BJ  
  
PS-Would you care about me any less if I grew a moustache? 


	3. Dear BJ

Dear BJ,  
  
This is your still loving, but currently VERY upset wife. I got your letter this morning, and after re-reading it several times, I tore it up and fed it to the dog.  
. . . Well, I guess I'm not THAT mad. I mean, I completely understand. Things must be so hard over there, and naturally a man's gonna get lonely sometimes. It's no excuse though, and neither is your being drunk.  
That's unlike you; I mean with the drinking and then . . . I can barely bring myself to write it . . . and then DOING it with a stranger! BJ, I'm surprised at you.  
I know you've been teased for trying to stay faithful to me, and I also know that ever since you met that . . . that . . . WOMAN, you've felt a lot more accepted. Still . . .  
In your letter, you wrote that I'm the girl for you, and that I'm incomparable. I'd love very much to take that to heart, but who knows? You might've said the very same thing to that whore of a nurse. I just don't know what to think or how to feel right now. Everything you've ever written to me could've been a big lie.  
Beej, I still love you. But it's kind of diminished.  
  
Peggy  
  
PS-I don't think it would matter whether you grew a moustache or not. 


	4. What Am I Going To Do?

Oh, good God.  
  
I got Peggy's letter today.  
  
After reading it, I began wishing all kinds of evil Korean curses upon Radar's family.  
  
It was that damned kid who gave the letter to me.  
  
What am I going to do?  
  
Okay, think BJ, think.  
  
You're a rational, though not entirely logical human being.  
  
A problem comes along, find the solution.  
  
Damn it, man, think!  
  
Maybe I should stop pacing.  
  
I can barely breathe in this tent.  
  
That's better.  
  
Oh, for cryin' out loud!  
  
Wounded?  
  
Great. Just great.  
  
I hate this God damn war! 


	5. The Draft Board's Fault

Gotta call home.  
  
Yeah, that's what I'll do.  
  
Call home.  
  
I'm sure everything is fine.  
  
I hope everything is fine.  
  
Oh, dear God.  
  
Okay, gotta stop this.  
  
You're hyperventilating, Hunnicutt.  
  
Peggy was just venting.  
  
Yeah, just venting some of her stress.  
  
Yeah.  
  
No.  
  
No, she wasn't.  
  
Peg was really angry.  
  
It's the war.  
  
All because of this war!  
  
This never should've happened.  
  
I blame the draft board.  
  
Then again, the draft board gets blamed for a lot of things. 


	6. BJ Phone Home

Peg?  
  
Peg, it's me!  
  
It's me, BJ!  
  
Sorry, what?  
  
Look, it's difficult to hear you, speak up!  
  
Honey?  
  
Honey, please listen to me.  
  
I was so drunk that night.  
  
That nurse was too.  
  
Sweetie, compared to you, she was pathetic!  
  
I shouldn't have said that, huh?  
  
You have to believe me!  
  
There's only room for two girls in my heart.  
  
You and Erin.  
  
I swear to God!  
  
Look, it was a one-night stand!  
  
She meant noth . . .  
  
What?  
  
Peg, Peg darling, you can't be serious!  
  
No!  
  
Don't do this to me!  
  
Think of Erin.  
  
Think of us.  
  
Sweetheart, please . . .  
  
Do you realize what you're doing, Peg?  
  
Please speak up!  
  
Peg . . .  
  
No, no, no, no . . . 


End file.
